so its the end of the semester. yes I know. and everyone is very stressed out trying to fnish off everything that needs to be turned in and whatnot.
I am no exception to that.
Also I would like to point out that yes I have learned quite a bit since I came to this school 3 years ago.
Moving lights, The Ion, vectorworks, Isadora, Hog Vision.
these are all things I have learnt about and my skills have increased. but along the way my passion was lost.
I don't know why. perhaps it was the unreasonably long hours. the lack of sleep, working with dictator directors. or perhaps it was being forced on to three shows a semester while still being expected to complete my assignments on time. It has reached a point were I have no desire to set foot in a theatre. once i get my paper, this degree is going to be as terminal as it suggests. what i used to love has been striped from me, the reason I gave up my life back in montreal, and moved across the country is no longer valid. Even now after the fun that was slotin the small ember that was kindled was crushed when i was forced on to three shows next semester.
my spirit is crushed
my passion is dead
and I know i am not the only one who feels that way right now
I have tried to make it better, I have tried to find it again, but i fear it is lost forever.
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