It has been rough this past month

Hey I made this post, it was super long and meloncholy, but for some reason when I post in chrome it wont actualy post to my blog.

either way.
This past month Has been super rough, what with the breakup and all that. I have to move, and there are so many other problems. the worst part is, she didnt even give me a chance to discuss the reasons with her. its like it was over in her mind long before she even botthered to contact me.
So basicly I had to watch my whole life fall apart and loose the woman I love, and there was nothing I could do to fix it.
worst feeling in the world, and I would not wish that on anyone.
I have been working on the two Cal rep plays though and its been a bit of a boon to get my mind off things, but it is still very difficult to concentrate, as my mind is constantly asking questions that i cant answer and the only person that can is up in the mountains and doesn't have a phone that works, So i guess I am forced to wait until she returns from Camp, and try to get some answers then, and I am sure even if i tried to contact her right now, it would probably make things worse. so all i can do is sit and wait. Stew in my thoughts and hope for the best.
thats is what my month has been like.
ah well by the time she gets back and if she wants to talk to me, school will be back up and rolling so I will have ample distractions to keep me from falling in to deeper despair.
Then Oppenhiemer will get in to full swing, and then it will be october. and then I will get in to Louis slotin sonnata then it will be thanksgiving, and the semester will be almost over.
If i keep myself distracted by work, this semester will breeze on by. and I will probably be much better off.

anyhow, here is some pics of the set. its going to be very cool. but sadly there is water in the set so i cant put lights under it (which would have been awesome!)

night shots

the other night I took a walk up the hill,
Iwas feeling rather lonley and I hadnt heard from Holly for a bit.
these past few weeks have been rather difficult. and the loneliness is starting to crush at my soul just a bit. I know Holly is having an amazing time, I just wish I could talk to her more. I trust her and I love her, and I know that our love is not something she is going to give up on so quickly. its just difficult, being so far away. but perhaps this will strengthen our love. but still I am having doubts that it was the right choice, i think only for the level of distraction its causing me, Its difficult to work, when you just cant stop thinking about the girl of your dreams, but I have to push on. less than a month before i am back in her arms. and then only a month before shes back home!
Anyhow these are some night photos i took   

holly is gone now... but its only a few months.

So holly has left for camp, we have had a pretty rough week what with the flood and all, but I am sure shes going to have a great time at camp. its so weird when you think about it, My girlfriend a college graduate is going to be a camp counselor.
either way, I miss her deeply, and i wish i could have gone with her, just because i don't know how i am going to survive the next few months without her. 
despite the fact that I am very sad about not being able to see her for the next month. I am also glad for her. this camp seems like a unique experience, and shes going to get a chance to meet some fun new people and hopefully makes some good connections. also this should help with our goal of starting that farm camp we've been talking about. also it will be nice for her to be active and having fun 24/7 especially after how rough our last semester was. while shes up at the camp she wont have to stress or worry about any of the shitty real life things and she will just get to concentrate on having fun and becoming a better teacher. so all in all a good experience for her.
then once shes back, I only have 9 months left in this place, and we can go off to Dublin to get her masters degree.
its going to be great.

just got to get through the next few months.

sometimes we fill the apt with baloons

So I am was working on these glass gobos for central city, and the designer wanted it to look like a room was filled with balloons, well after looking online for somthing, I decided to fill the apt with baloons and just take the photos myself and shop them to be what she needed.
and of course with an awesome silly girl like holly she was more than willing to help me with the fun.

Congradulations my Dovetail

I am so happy for you Holly, I know this summer is going to be difficult with both of us being gone, but I look forward to the next year together, and the wonderful love we share.
I am so proud of you, and cant wait until I am standing in that same spot with those robes on, the future for us has never looked so bright.
werevever we end up afterwards i know its going to be amazing, because i know you will be by my side.